i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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