What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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