lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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