Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
