Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
