so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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