woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
