Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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