She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
