We're facebook friends in real life
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize