did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
