I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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