hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
