Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
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