Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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