this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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