Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
