If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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