I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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