But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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