I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
