She announced her abortion via fbk
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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