oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
