I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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