he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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