I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
