It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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