so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
