i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
