Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
