Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
