Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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