6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I could make wine with my vomit
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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