Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
