My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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