Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
