Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
