Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
