I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
