She announced her abortion via fbk
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
