So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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