He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
