I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
