STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
