How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
