So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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