A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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