all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
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this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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