one two three fourrrrnication!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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