if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize