So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
