Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize