what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
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So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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