Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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