i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
