so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize