so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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