her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
