she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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