Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize